A friend and I were talking this past week about a professional goal I’m trying to reach, when I realized that something crazy always happens to me every time I’ve got a big goal in my sights. I go go go; I charge toward what I perceive to be the finish line… and then… boom. Nothing. It’s almost like the universe steps in and blocks it out. Whatever it’s holding for me can feel just out of my grasp.

But then, after that block comes the magical moment. Always–and I’m talking without fail–the very moment I let go of what is beyond my control, when I stop trying to force it, something falls into place to open up my path again.

Always–and I’m talking without fail–the very moment I let go of what is beyond my control, when I stop trying to force it, something falls into place to open up my path again.

Here’s the thing:

It must be a full resignation. I can say, Oh, I’m done worrying! It’s out of my control now! and not really mean it. If I’m not really feeling that sentiment–really breaking away from that sense of frustration and anxiousness–it doesn’t work.

In my experience, the complete process of achieving a goal must always involve utterly letting go.

You can call it a complete trusting in God, or fate, or the universe, or whatever greater power it is you believe in. But whatever it is, you must do the work, then step away.

In fact, I find this tenet to be true in lots of scenarios: professional goals, relationships, even friendships. When it comes to the good things in life, the things that are really worth it, you just can’t force it.

Only by putting in the work, then stepping back and truly trusting the process, can the magic happen.

Only by putting in the work, then stepping back and truly trusting the process, can the magic happen.

For me, a person who lives somewhere square in between Control Freak and OCD-level circling, this can be… challenging, to say the least. But I’ve got to find a way to do it.

This whole principle of trusting the process reminds me a lot of a book I’m currently working my way through that I’ve already mentioned on the blog. In Do Less, author Kate Northrup talks about scaling down the amount of work we do and remaining just as productive. She tells us how to work in tandem with the seasons of our body and the earth to yield the biggest results with the least amount of pulling-out-your-hair effort.

So here’s my big takeaway.

The next time you feel like you’re hitting a brick wall, or that you’re putting in the work and getting nowhere; try doing what seems completely antithetical to reaching that goal. Try stepping back.

Put in all the work–and with all your heart and soul–and then, let the universe take over. It’s a lesson I think we all need to really ingest.

I know I’ll be trying.