There are few things that dig right into the crevices of my nerves more than the #InstagramPerfectMom. You know her. I know you do.#InstaMom hosts holiday parties for 15 girlfriends the night before Christmas Eve with hand-calligraphed name cards and fresh pine branches on their table.#InstaMom has a different craft scheduled for her kids for each day of winter break–including one where her 15 children are pulled by dogsled across the Alaskan tundra wearing fur-trimmed parka hoodies, as a professional photographer trails along to take photos. #Memories!#InstaMom wears a long plaid skirt while whipping up dinner for her partner every night leading up to Christmas because, even though she still has an entire holiday to craft for little Paxton, Braxton, and Elaxtin, there’s nothing that’s going to get in the way of a good #fashionmoment while they’re getting into the holiday spirit!Omg do I sound like a bitter old shrew? I’m not here to crap on #InstaMoms–because lady if that’s you, you do you, sister… plaid skirt and all. What I’m trying to say–and clearly I’m a tinge insecure about–is that I am decidedly not an #InstaMom.

I Didn’t Take My Kids To See Santa

I try mightily to inject as much magic into the Christmas season as possible for my kids, but this year it turned out that we missed out on some big things that we usually do. Namely, I didn’t bring them to see Santa to get pictures.Normally this would get me pretty upset–I mean (*insert judgy voice here*), what kind of mom doesn’t take her kid to see Santa?!–but this year, I’m choosing to let go of all the “shoulds,” and embrace what we are actually doing. And this year, that is is spending lots of time together, just old fashioned hangin’-out in our house. Dolls. Board games. Tic tac toe. Target runs where I grab last-minute gifts and stuff them under the toilet paper so they can’t see that “Santa” is bringing a few extra things back home for them.Honestly, I feel bad that we won’t be able to look back into our photo archives and see my kids’ smiling faces alongside Santa, but it just didn’t work out this year–what with all the activities, school and other scheduled events. But instead of choosing the old narrative where I’m telling myself I’m a bad mom, I’m choosing instead to say, It’s okay. 

We may not have done the Santa thing, but what we did do?

The Snuggle Thing, The Dancing-in-the-Family-Room-Together Thing, The Decorating Thing. So many other things that I can only hope have etched into their hearts just as much as that other Christmas tradition.So if you’re like me and missed out on some other Big Christmas Thing this year, I hope you forgive yourself for it. And I hope you know that there are so many other opportunities for special moments with our kids this holiday season that have nothing to do with Santa, and everything to do with that other magical person in their lives–Mom.