So often we put pressure on ourselves as mothers to do and be it all, often times all at once, and ultimately to our own detriment.

The endless to-dos of the holiday season only exacerbate our already-high stress levels, and more often than not, we run ourselves ragged and end up locking ourselves in our closets away from the kids with a container of edible cookie dough (it’s a thing!) and a bag of chocolate morsels, maniacally spooning away until our toddler finds us and asks, “Hey mom, is that chocolate? Can I have some?”

Or is that just me?

Anywho, I think we all need to give less of a crap, starting… NOW! But because it feels impossible to press pause for a minute and let even one area of our lives go to pot for just a second so we can catch our breath, sometimes we need other people to sign off on it. So I’m here to help you, sister.

This is the season where I will now be saying, “Elf it.” (Silent “l.”)

I hereby give you, fellow stressed-out mom, permission to JUST SAY NO to any (or hell, to all!) of the following until this slow-motion-three-ring-circus-of-a-shitstorm we call the Holiday Season is over. You can officially feel no guilt about abstaining from doing any of the following, on any given damn day you want:

1. Cleaning. This goes especially for that nasty kitchen floor that gets crumby within about 45 seconds of any given meal. Leaving the noodles (see Exhibit A) til the next meal won’t hurt anyone. Actually, they get kinda hard and easier to pick up with the vacuum. Bonus!
2. Gift wrapping. Channel your inner environmentalist: “Save our environment!! No more wrapping paper!!!” No? Okay. If it must be covered—gift bags. Maybe even blankets?
3. Elf-on-the-Shelfing. You see that guy in the photo at the top? He’s Peter. He lives in our house. And he NEVER. MOVES. If the kids ask, he’s tired, just like Mommy. Or he’s hung over. Your call.
4. Baking. Let’s be honest. You’re just doing it so you can eat the batter, anyway. (Or again, is this just me?) I hear Publix makes some kick-ass pies
5. Shopping in stores. Amazon. That is all I have to say about that.

But when you do have to come back down to Earth and do any or all of the above, I suggest a phone call to Mom or your best friend for a classic whining session. Maybe while locked in the closet with some cookie dough.

Godspeed and Merry Christmas, my friends!!