Can I get something off my back? I’m a wreck.

Let me rephrase: I’m a functioning wreck. The crowning achievement of any day is showering and showing up to work in an outfit not-yet stained with spitup.

I show up late to summer camp drop-off 15 minutes late every. single. time (and no, I can’t rearrange my schedule to arrive on time because no matter how early I get up to get the kids ready A HOLE IS SOMEHOW TORN IN THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM AND I END UP LATE.) My car is a mobile petri dish that’s 5 thousand miles beyond its last service date. My floors at home would benefit from being introduced to a vacuum cleaner. My bathroom sinks are cluttered and my laundry is piled up and my husband (God bless that man) ends up making dinner for our family more nights than not.

But.

I’m happy! I embrace the messiness and I adore the craziness because I was taught from a very young age, and from a very strong and wonderful woman (HI MOM!!!) that it is okay to be yourself and nothing more.

So, ladies, that being said, can we all do ourselves and our daughters a favor? Can we teach them that there is NO SUCH THING as having it all, and that the people who smile at you and tell you there is, are big ugly liars? Because while, on paper, we can “have it all,” we can **never have it all at once**. (I like to call this the Salad Bar Analogy. You’re welcome. And hat tip to my friend Tara, who reminded me of this.)

Somehow, SO many women I know ended up with this notion in their heads that they had to be everything all at once to everyone, and then we fail and somehow end up feeling bad.

So ask for help. Be late. Don’t put on makeup. Say “not so great” when someone asks how you are doing, if that’s how you’re feeling. Be tired and exhausted and you even have my permission to snap at someone who asks you to do that one more thing that you have NO energy to do (but apologize profusely immediately thereafter), because YOU ARE HUMAN. And tell those little girls that it’s okay not to smile through everything. And for heaven’s sake, when another woman asks, “How do you do it?”, be honest with her and just tell her the truth—you don’t, and you’re okay with that.