But in my third go-round in pregnancy, I have rounded up a few things that most pregnant women just don’t want to hear, no matter how well-meaning or innocently they may be intended.
Hell–touch my belly all you want; tell me, “it looks like you’re having twins!” You can even joke about me eating dessert after lunch every day (FACT), but these things? Just please don’t.
Thanks, in advance, from all of us!
This isn’t an MMA weigh-in. The rest of the0- Nurse’s Corner, I’m certain, does not need to hear the numerical result of my having indulged in a chocolate croissant every day. Hearing “162!!!” blared out at a decibel level comparable to that of a live auctioneer does not an already-hormonally-unstable happy pregnant woman make.
Are you a lactation consultant? You gonna help me with this latch? No? Then do me a solid and take another glance at the Appetizer menu while I get this kid situated on my boob.
Believe me, I don’t want to be doing this in public any more than you and your horrified 12-year-old want to see it. But the fact is, I got other kids to feed too, and I’m not going to cook for them at home with a newborn. So just gimme a minute and then we’ll be all set. K thanks.
I don’t know about the other pregnant ladies out there, but all of a sudden when I’m actually in need of them, those Expectant Mother parking spaces are gone. Like, poof. (Target, I’m looking at you.)
So in the absence of any little things that make our lives a little easier out there in the greater world, there are some very small, but still wonderful, things you partners can do to make our lives easier. Like these!
Yes, I admit I lean toward the candid side in my information sharing with other moms or moms-to-be, but never to the point where I think I’m actually going to scare someone.
Yes, It’s good to be honest, but be honest to a point. Round out that horrible three-day-long-labor-and-subsequent-c-section story with some humor, or inspiration. For example: “I may have lost pints of blood and mourned the loss of my desired birth plan, but I did still end up with a healthy baby, and learned something about my toughness along the way.” See? All better.
This one goes out to all the friends and loved ones of Pregnant Chick. Just because we’re on kid #2, #3 or #4, or (God help you, I bow down) #5+, doesn’t mean we don’t need a little TLC. We’ve been to this rodeo before, yes (and our bodies have lived to tell the tale), but we still need help just like we did the first time around. In fact, we probably need it more with all the subsequent kiddos’ arrivals.
See? Simple! We are soooo not the emotionally-unstable, relentlessly demanding hormonal monsters we are painted to be! At least not forever.
Thanks for hearing me out.
Your Friendly Neighborhood Pregnant Friend