Exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time, it can feel like the greatest thing you’ve ever done while simultaneously being the scariest, and the hardest thing.
It’s no secret how much I love talking about all the attendant big-ness of motherhood; it’s why I started this blog. I love documenting these batshit crazy-beautiful years, and I love even more hearing from all of you parent friends about your own roller coaster rides.
And as time goes on, it occurs to me that parents are so into talking and commiserating and meme-ing endlessly about this parenting thing, because I think we are all kind of asking through our jokes and confessions and pleas, “How in the world did we get here?!” (all while laughing to ourselves and sharing tips on how not to get pooped on by our kids.)
And all this brings me to what I’m feeling today, which is complete and utter exhaustion.
If I’m being honest, I shouldn’t really feel this way, “shouldn’t” being a very subjective word, of course.
I shouldn’t feel this way because I had help from our sitter. She was there for most of the day which went like this for me: A meeting for our house; some very-much-needed grocery shopping; outdoor playtime with the kids; some serious work on the blog; then dinner and cleanup.
And despite the fact that someone was there to pick up some of the slack, I still felt, well, overwhelmed.
Have you ever been here before?
They—whoever they are—talk about “the longest shortest years.” It’s those first few hectic and harried years of your children’s lives when the only thing shorter than them is your patience, your time and your sanity. The ongoing joke between me and my husband is my text to him, sent usually right about an hour after he leaves the house at 7:30, “This is such a long day.”
I know how special these days are, how quickly they go. But damn, the days are long. And all the talk in the world about how much it’s going to change and how soon it’s going to change, does nothing to alleviate the feeling that I am just. Freaking. Spent.
Fall-into-bed spent. Backache for daaaaaays-spent. How-in-the-hell-is-it-only-Monday spent.
And I’m not gonna lie: I’m staring down tomorrow with a little bit of fear. It’s set to be yet another day where I technically don’t have anything all that “big” to do, yet by the end of it I know I will feel exactly how I feel right now.
But you know what? It’s the roller coaster I hopped on. I’ll take the whiplash, knowing—like They say—that one day I will look back on this with such a longing heart that it might just make me want to go back, if only for one more Longest, Shortest day.
Ever have one of those days, for no good reason? Let’s chat in Comments below!