Have you seen the kid’s party that is taking the internet by storm? A 3-year-old insisted on Poop as the theme for her 3rd birthday party. Take a quick look. I’ll wait here.

Don’t let the calm strolling-through-the-park picture at the top of this post fool you. I am in full-on crisis mode.

Here in the land of 33 Weeks Pregnant with Two Toddlers, things are starting to fall apart. I don’t mean that figuratively, because all the important stuff is intact; I mean it literally. As in, my poor aching bones. I cried for absolutely no reason for the third time this weekend and it just felt so good, I may have to do it again. For no reason.

Our new bundle isn’t here yet (7 weeks to go!), but I’m already getting ready for those first couple months at home when we will be hunkering down, doing nothing but chilling out and sleeping.

They sit there on my nightstand, stacked eight high, their spines decorated with pastel flourishes and encouraging titles. They are the Leaning Tower of Promise. A promise I never tapped into. Yeah, I’m kinda stupid like that.

As if pushing a tiny person out of a small part of your body weren’t task enough, mentally preparing for labor alone can also be quite a chore.

I was 7 or 8 years old, walking circles through the handbag section of TJ Maxx, desperately searching for my mom, when to my relief, I finally heard her calling for me just a few racks away.

There are few things that humble a woman like going through a pregnancy. The physical changes alone are enough to stilt the swagger of even the most confident of women.

Since buying our first swaggin’ wagon, I have come to realize something: There are two types of people in this world—people who care what you think about their car, and people who get minivans. I am the latter.

See that picture? That was my darling little daughter, three times, last night. Two of the three beds in our house have been christened, we had to do a 4am bubble bath to get the vomit out of her hair (hope you’re not eating breakfast!) and I woke up to three fragrant piles of dirty laundry to wash.