I set the home pregnancy test stick on the bathroom counter, two pink lines staring up at me and my husband.

“Maybe if we let it go for a few more minutes, the second line will disappear!!” I blurted out.

Yes, I know it doesn’t work that way.

Yes, I was a TINGE in denial.

No, I was not prepared in any way for this moment to happen.

It’s Third Kid time, my friends.

Now, at 12 weeks, I am firmly in the grateful mindset, but let me tell you something. Anyone who gets unexpectedly pregnant at a time she wasn’t planning or expecting to, is gonna need a minute—or three months—to process what this brings.

40 more pounds. (Dear God, 40 more pounds. *weep*) Less sleep. (Dear God, so, so much LESS SLEEP.) Back on the infant feeding schedule. Buying alllll the gear we had literally just thrown away—car seats and carriers and boppy seats and bottles, etc etc ad infinitum. And essentially the upending of what lately has become a very good, very easy schedule that our family has settled into.

And–here’s a hot tip: When you find out that you’re unexpectedly pregnant while your current two other children are both still under 4, please—please please please, in the name of all that’s good and true—don’t Google “third child.”

“Why the Third Child Will Test Your Marriage.”

“The Truth About Having a Third Child.”

“22 Ways Having Three Kids is Different Than Having Two.”

Feast your eyes on the positivity of the Internet, my friends.

But let me say this, in closing.

I am happy—so, so happy. I am a firm believer in having faith in the Greater Plan. I believe this was meant to be. And we are so, so lucky to be able to raise another little monster.

But in the meantime, I’ll be blocking the words “third child” from my search engine for the next nine months.