I interviewed clinical psychologist Dr. Hillary Goldsher about trauma this week on We Gotta Talk, and here are three things I learned.
Although some traumas occur as acute experiences—for example being the target of a crime or assault—other traumas can be “smaller” in nature but happen repeatedly.
Both are damaging.
Dr. Hillary says it’s important to leave space for yourself to feel the effects of whatever trauma you’ve experienced.
Don’t downplay it. It matters, and you deserve a path to healing.
Dr. Hillary says when the work is done and we don’t suppress, and process feelings in a safe environment, you can absolutely move your way through trauma.
It doesn’t go away, she says, but what happens is that we gain mastery over it, so the intensity of how we experience of it improves, and we revisit it much less over time.
If space and a deep breath don’t work, try this: “Nothing wrong with me; nothing wrong with this feeling.”
Identifying the feeling and giving yourself compassion over having the feeling allows you to reflect on *why* you feel that way, without feeling guilty for feeling it.
For more, check out the whole podcast with Dr. Hillary on We Gotta Talk!