I remember a time long before motherhood when I thought the process of having a baby went like this…

I know it’s not easy. Most days you feel like you are attempting a balancing act that you can never get quite right. The scale never quite balances out, does it? You hear the phrase “having it all” and actually cringe, because you know that phrase is a big, big lie.

It’s right after the kids go to bed, when you get to flip open your laptop, pop some kettle corn, put on your IDGAF sweats, turn on Netflix and tune out the world.

I was 7 or 8 years old, walking circles through the handbag section of TJ Maxx, desperately searching for my mom, when to my relief, I finally heard her calling for me just a few racks away.

We bought and didn’t use many things over the course of our three pregnancies and births. I’m here to share what you can save your cash on, because college is coming a lot sooner than you think and that is something you should actually be spending money on for your kids.

Ladies, gentlemen, and all those with a penchant for utter chaos–witness the wonder that gathers under this tent! Come now, and feast your gaze upon the sheer Crazy.

Yes, I’m that weirdo you see at Starbucks talking to her phone and saying things like, “I’ll call you right back, semicolon. I’m holding the baby, period. See you soon, exclamation point!”

I spent the morning in Target (because it is a day ending in “y,” and also #summertime, and #3kidsunder4), and a funny thing occurred to me, as I swept past the toy section with my three kids–desperately trying, and failing, to distract them from the sea of plastic we were passing.One preternaturally calm mama-of-two was […]

Before I tell you the mental short circuit that led to the above-mentioned moment, let me assure you that she’s all good. They were bamboo sharks, which if Wikipedia is to be believed, are “harmless to humans.”

My kids are slowly destroying our house, one flooded bathroom floor and lipstick-painted rug at a time. As I write this, my daughter is digging Nutella from the jar with a Lego and eating it. She is failing mightily at actually getting it into her mouth.